02 June 2008

Case law

Father Mitch Pacwa's keynote address at the Catholic homeschool conference mentioned the gospels and case law. He made some interesting points during his speech (which was excellent), but when he mentioned case law, I thought about how my son was our "mulligan" and how my daughter is inspiring complete volumes of new case law.

Crayons are only to be used in coloring books. They are not to be used on tables, chairs, books, walls, floors, clothes, bathroom tile, siblings, animals, toys, etc.

Crayons are not to be eaten.

Crayons are not to be placed in your nose.

You are not to wantonly break crayons or peel off their wrapping and leave it all over the house.

Spaghetti is a food, not a toy.

After eating spaghetti with your hands, do not run your hands through your hair.

After eating spaghetti with your hands, do not wipe said hands on your clothes.

The only thing that goes in your diaper is poop or pee.

You are not allowed to remove your diaper under any circumstances. Only a trained adult is permitted to remove said diaper. Running around the house sans diaper will provoke an immediate response by an adult and swift disciplinary action.

Diapers belong on your hiney, not on your head.

Car seats
Car seats are your friend.

Under no circumstances are you to disable the restraining device.

Church is a time for quiet, not play. When you are asked to be quiet at Mass in a soft, indoor voice it is equivalent to the loudest, most firm reprimand you have received outside of Mass.

Pews are for sitting on, not for standing, jumping, laying or using as a highway to get around.

Books are for reading, not eating.

Books have feelings, do not rip them to pieces.

Books are perfect just the way they are, they do not need to be colored or decorated or changed in any way.

Toilet paper
Toilet paper stays on the roll, do not dump roll into the toilet.

Do not shred toilet paper roll all over the house.

Do not wrap yourself in toilet paper.

Do not hide toilet paper.

Toilet paper was not intended as a decoration.

Case law seems to get written every day around here!


Laura The Crazy Mama said...

HEEEEYYYYY, did you go to the blogger's conference? Did I miss something? I didn't get to hear Fr. Pacwa talk, sounds like I DID miss something. Did you see me? Did I see YOU?
email me laura7550atyahoodotcom

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

ROFL! We have those laws here too. However we still seem to have a remarkable number of smiley faces on the hallway wall.
Yesterday a certain defendant was seen in broad daylight removing her nappy (diaper)and then jumping up and down on a chair naked and laughing while waving said nappy!

SinlessTouch said...
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