26 January 2008

Inappropriate talker

Like the close talker, but worse



My son is an inappropriate talker. Maybe little boys are like this.

Last week we went to Dodge Nature Center. It was our first time doing an activity with the new home schooling group I joined. We're not even "official" members yet and these are the folks we will be interacting with for (possibly) years to come. So much for first impressions. As our group walked into the room with the reptiles, my son stopped in the doorway and stated that it "stunk" in the room. I kept trying to get him to go in the building, but he wouldn't move until I acknowledged the smell.

No one else mentioned anything about the smell. Just my son.

During the 90 minutes we were there, the instructor showed us several reptiles and amphibians and talked a little bit about each one. If she mentioned something that triggered an association in my son's brain, then words just spewed forth. He's big on dinosaurs, so when she mentioned that some reptiles look like dinosaurs, well, there was no stopping his monologue. She went on to mention the word "monsters" and again that triggered the association with Scooby Doo and off he went, telling the woman (and the class) all about Scooby Doo and the monsters Scooby encounters in the course of being a "mystery solver."

About once every five minutes something set him off and I didn't know if I should look for the duct tape or just chalk it up to what Dr. Ray says is poor impulse control in young kids. The other moms didn't seem to mind, maybe they had come through a stage like this with one of their kids, but this is my oldest so all these experiences are new and challenging!

We were out at the Mall of America for lunch over the weekend. For Christmas, my son got a very nice book on the human body. It's the latest thing he is really interested in. He can actually tell you a lot about the nervous system, the brain, etc., but what system comes to mind when you are eating? Right...the digestive system. And what is the end result of the digestive system. Correct again. And that's what he kept telling us about very loudly. "And it comes out your butt" was said over and over and over. Ain't no stoppin' that kid when he's on a roll.

The other day we took in his Kindergarten application. This is an important step. I told him he needed to be on his best behavior when we were in the school office. I've never given such a stern "pre-warning" before. The school is very hard to get into, so this was causing me some anxiety and I wanted my kids to look and act like little angels. Even though, by law the school has to pick the names by lottery, I was hoping that my son's application would get in the "good" kid pile instead of placed at the bottom of the "bad" kid pile.

But he wouldn't be my son if he didn't walk in the office and ask, "What is that smell?" To which the very important lady taking the very important application said, "Does it smell like peanut butter?" And my son said it did and she told him that someone had eaten their lunch there. While I turn to point my daughter towards the door to leave, I look back to find my son walking around the room, sniffing, trying to find where in the room the smell was strongest. AHHHHH!!! Then, before I can stop him, he takes off his hat and mittens. Now I have to pull my daughter back in the from the hallway and put his hat and mittens back on, hoping against hope that he doesn't do or say anything else in the next thirty seconds that would embarrass all of us. As I push the kids towards the office door, he stops at the water cooler. He wants a drink. I tell him we just need to go, but not before he presses the water button and splashes water all over the woman's office.

Regardless of the results of the application lottery for Kindergarten, I don't think we can show our faces at that school or even in the home school group again. We may just have to move.

My father always told me that my mouth ran as fast as a whippoorwill's rear end. Guess this is pay backs.

16 comments:

gemoftheocean said...

Personally I like kids like your son. It's rather refreshing, to chat with someone that age with no "edit" button. Now to some degree everyone needs to know when to "edit." I.E.
"mom that lady has a face like a baboon's behind" is definitely an "edit" moment to learn, and the sooner the better. But a lot of your son's observations are just very observant, and curious, and show intelligence by associating things with each other. I.E. you learn best when you build on knowledge you have it's retained more. So believe it or not that "Scooby doo" thing shows wide ranging imagination. It's when adults DON'T remember to "play like this mentally" that they get boxed into the "only way way to do something" realm. Booooorrrrrring.

And "Booooooorrrrrring"..... is the ultimate sin in my book.

Entropy said...

You are funny. Your son is just being a kid (and a boy to boot!).

We have filter problems here too. When my younger daughter was 3 or 4 we saw a pretty heavy-set lady in an office and my daughter in a clearly audible voice (the woman was 4 ft from us) said, "Mama, that lady is FAT!" *sigh* Yes, darlin', but you don't have to tell her. I apologized but the woman was rightly offended. We had a long talk that just because something is TRUE doesn't mean you have to say it OUT LOUD. So a couple weeks later we were at the grocery store and we walk past another heavy set woman and as soon as we get past her, my daughter says, "Mama, I'm not gonna say fat!" Good job, kiddo. Man, I love that kid but *whew.*

I think your son is gonna be just fine. :)

Angela M. said...

My youngest son is one of those people that says what everyone might be thinking but doesn't want to say. Sometimes this is bad. Other times it breaks the ice. Over the years he has learned to edit...somewhat. He's in the army now. One day I had him on the phone when he was working in the office and he was talking in his usual casual way to me but then he had to put the phone down the the officer came in - wow - my kid now has an edit button! It just takes time.

swissmiss said...

Well, he's only four, so he has some time to learn to edit. He is just soooo outgoing and talkative while his sister is the opposite.

I don't know if men ever learn to completely master their impulse control. Even my husband makes me cringe every know and then ;}

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

I agree with swissmiss! My four year old does that sniffing/"what stinks" thing to the max. It's gotten to the point that we tested him with the clothes piles (one for each person in the family) and a blindfold. We think he may be some sort of "sniffing genius". He was right about who's pile it was...just by sniffing them, 95% of the time. That was AFTER the clothes had been washed! I can't take him to church anymore because if someone accidentally...lets one out...I KNOW he'll mention it. Loudly. Many times.
I reallyreallyreally like boys like ours who say it like it is (not always convenient, but always entertaining!)!

Jeffrey Smith said...

The kid's right. Just one reptile can stir up a stench.

swissmiss said...

Well, it must've been a snake that created the stench. The instructor said that even though they only eat once a week, and then when they poop once a week, it is "odoriferous."

swissmiss said...

Laura:
Our sons should get together...I can only imagine the comedy that would ensue.

Jeffrey;
So true.

Cathy_of_Alex said...

LOL!

He's just being a kid-a boy. My brother was the same way. He calmed down and learned propriety eventually.

Adrienne said...

Well, boo on that school if they don't want your son. He seems above average to me!

swissmiss said...

Thanks, Adrienne. It's not the school's fault. They are a public charter school that is teaching the "classical curriculum" that I would teach at home, promoting virtues and such, along with Latin and other good things, just not religion. Because the school is doing a good job, lots of parents want to send their kids there and there are only 40 slots for Kindergarteners. Since there is sibling "preference," which gives priority to applications from students with another sibling at the school, last year there were 32 kids who got in Kindergarten because of sibling preference. That's only 8 open slots and they had 110 applicants for those slots. Since it's a public school, they can't "discriminate" on any basis, so have to use a lottery for the open slots. Sooo, that's why it's tough to get in. I'm still very torn on sending my son to school or homeschooling (which is what I've been planning since before the kid was even born). At this point, I'm cool with whatever happens. I should know in about a month if he got in or where he's at on the waiting list. There are a few good high schools around too, so there are some good options if I tank at homeschooling :)

Melody said...

Things have gotten a lot more complicated in the years since my kids started school! Parents and kids just went to "Kindergarten Round-Up" in the spring. They served juice and cookies, we met the teachers, and you got your kid's classroom assignment. Sometimes simplicity is good.

WhiteStoneNameSeeker said...

ROFL!!! Oh the difestive system explanation- I am scarred for life after my now 16yr old did that one to posh reli's when he was about 4 or 5! We were having Sunday lunch and he regailed the joys of stomach acid. I could see where the whole things would end and desperately kept trying to interrupt and shut him down, but there was no stopping him.l he was so proud of the fact he KNEW all this stuff and so finally he announced loudly "And it comes out of your bottom as poo grandad!"
my present 4yr old is just growing out of the 'poo, fart' phase; so don't worry, this too will pass. LOL!

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Sanctus Belle said...

Don't worry about this at all, he will grow out of it. Sounds like a very bright young man!

gemoftheocean said...

Hey, I tagged you for an award.